Upstairs Neighbors

I REALLY don't get my upstairs neighbors.

First of all, they're about my parents' age. Which is fine, except that I don't exactly live in an apartment building (or neighborhood) that I think really appeals to that demographic. My building is an older building, with shared laundry rooms and no dishwashers in the units. Like much of Seattle, we have no air conditioning and the building could seriously use a paint job. But my apartment is pretty big and in a great location and REALLY cheap for what/where it is. The LQA is great for me because it's a short bus ride or walk to my office, there are lots of shops and restaurants and stuff within walking distance and I'm close to downtown. But I'm also a 20-something year-old single girl who does not have a lot of money. If I had been working for 30 years and were in a dual-income housing situation, I would not choose this apartment; I'd live somewhere nice. If I were my parents' age, I'd want to live in the suburbs. And if I had a pied-a -terre, it would not be on the lower east side of Queen Anne; it'd be a Belltown loft. So the fact that these people live here perplexes me.

Second of all, they have odd habits. They vacuum. A LOT. And right now (9:30pm on a Sunday) they're moving furniture around. And they're heavy walkers. And sometimes they yell.

Third of all, I have seen them sitting fountain side, reading and sunning by the fountain in my building's courtyard. The dude has creepy toenails. They are really long and crusty-looking and yellowish. Ew.

I havent figured out which car in the parking lot is theirs, but that might be another item to add to the WTH list.

Douchebag of the Week

This week's honor goes to an unnamed group. I'm not withholding names to protect the innocent. These douches a) are not innocent and b) deserve to be called out. Sadly, I do not know their names.

This week's DBOTW: car thieves. Specifically, the jerkfaces who stole my car.

Anybody who will take my 1990s Honda from my parking lot late on a Friday night and abandon it 1.5 blocks away is a douchebag. They ripped out the ignition box to start it (and drive it 1.5 blocks) and then just left it in the parking lot of Pie and Fritha's former apartment building. They didn't even take the Bacon Salt that was in the car.

They didn't take the clothes, the football or the beer (I have a couple of cans of Natty Light in the trunk, leftover from "Poor Life Choices" theme night at mini-golf. I had forgotten they were there until the thieves' rummaging uncovered them.)

They didn't even go joy riding in the car. I happened to remember the mileage on my trip odomoter when I left a friend's house the night before it was taken (577.5). She lives 15 (or so) miles away from me, so when I found the car with an unmoved gas gauge needle and a trip odometer of 592.3, I knew they SERIOUSLY drove it a block and a half.

The snotrags' little 1.5 block jaunt cost me $500 for a new ignition...box...thing. And now I have to use 2 different keys on my car: one to open the door, one to drive. It's annoying. And not fair.

Now if this were the first time my car had been stolen, I might just be grateful to get it back.

But no.

The first time, the jerks who stole it abandoned it in Kent (a hole of a town 30 minutes away) with the windows down (in Seattle, in the winter) and stole some clothes I had in the car. Some nice clothes that I needed to drop off to be dry-cleaned.

The second time, the d-nozzles drove it a few miles away, left the lights on, which drained the battery, and the door open. They left the computer in the trunk and left the clothes I needed to drop at Goodwill in the back seat. But the box of hand-me-down dishes I inherited from Rosie...they took.

So this time, when my car was stolen, I was kinda hoping it wouldn't come back. It's my first theft since moving to the LQA and I thought maybe I was free. Bah.

And that's why Car Thieves get named Douchebag of the Week. And why my car's nickname is "Boomer" - as in "Ang" not "Esiason".