Cambodia: just a lil hike, mmkay

At the waterfall at Kbal Spean

From Banteay Srei, we got back in the car and headed to Kbal Spean. Our guide had told us that morning that we would go out of town to some temples, then continue out of town to the lake, for a boat tour of the floating village. On the way from Banteay Srei (temple 1) to Kbal Spean (temple 2), Piseth turns to us (in the backseat) and says "The BF and Charlie: we are heading to Kbal Spean. We will get out of the car and hike up to it. It will take 45 minutes to get there. The hike is very steep. Very strenuous. Ok?"

At this point, we're like "uh....ok?" I mean, we are in the car, halfway there. And we wanted to see this thing, so we werent going to back out. But I'm not entirely sure that was an option. I think he was just telling us this as part of his tour guide spiel, not as a question or even as a warning.

The BF and I at the waterfall. See how we are NOT wearing
hiking gear? Also, we are drenched in sweat.

So we get to the spot, get out of the car, grab some bottles of water and start hiking. We proceed to hike about a mile uphill, gaining about 700 feet in elevation as we do so. Now, a 700 foot elevation gain might not sound like much, but over only a mile, that kind of elevation gain means I'm using my hands and feet to scamper up some rock clumps in more than one spot on the "trail". As a point of comparison, Little Si (outside of Seattle) is an elevation gain of 1200 feet over 2.5 miles. That's about 70% of the incline of this little trail.

Our local, fit guide scampers on up the trail, staying just within eyesight of us, where he stops and waits. Then he continues on while we slowly make our way up. Keep in mind, we were informed of our hike about 10 minutes before commencing on said hike. The BF is wearing sandals (granted, they're Keen all-purpose sporty sandals, not some Rainbow flip-flops, but still) and I'm wearing Sperrys. Boat shoes. Known and desired for their lack of tread on the sole.

We reach the top of the hill in due time, quite sweaty, but otherwise fine and begin taking pictures of the waterfall and carvings in the river bed. Kbal Spean is the location of the "thousand lingas". A linga is a phallic symbol and according to legend, water that passes over a linga is imbued with special powers and holiness. Therefore, in order to have pure, holy water in the village below, the Khmer people carved a thousand lingas into the rocks in the riverbed. And a thousand years later, the carvings are still visible. Pretty impressive.

The riverbed carvings of lingas

The rain pouring through the
thatched roof on the edge of
the guard shack where
we waited out the storm.

Of course, while we were taking pictures of the carvings, it started to rain. Not "spritz a little on and off like Seattle in January" kind of rain; the "dump buckets of water at a time so hard it hurts, like July in Florida" kinda rain. We duck into the nearby trail guard station to get out of the rain, and sat there for a few minutes waiting for it to die down. We chatted with our guide and learned that he had a wife and son and that he wanted his son to grow up and go to college, perhaps even medical school. 

Sitting in the guard shack, waiting for the rain to die down.
My Sperrys have been with me on four continents,
through all kinds of weather. And now, they've been with me
on an impromptu Cambodia hike and rainstorm.
Love these shoes.

When the rain finally slacked up, we started hiking back down to the car. In the rain. On a now slippery steep trail. It took us a while to navigate back down, getting rained on the whole way, and I just kept thinking "Fritha and Conan would love this. But I'm glad I'm not holding Bucca's leash right now. I would totally fall and slide all the way down this muddy mountain."







We finally get back to the car, where our guide is waiting patiently. We plop our wet selves into the backseat and head off to lunch.

Singapore is like a hangover

You know when you're hungover, you feel tired and achy and icky and weird. And it's hard to focus. And bright lights and loud noises hurt your head. Yeah.

The root cause of this, of course, is the dehydration that comes from drinking too much. And with the long plane trip, lack of good sleep and hot hot sweaty weather here, I have become a bit dehydrated.

Anyone who has been to my desk in Seattle has seen the evidence of my regular water consumption: there is a large pink cup and a large water bottle on my desk at all times. I take them to and from the kitchen several times a day to fill them up.

In Singapore, I have only a miniature little water bottle that I fill and refill often. And it has taken several days to get caught up on my water consumption, to the point that I don't feel completely cruddy. 

Due to my experience living on the west coast, with many beloved family and friends on the east coast and my regular cross-country travels, I underestimated the impact of jet lag. I may have even scoffed (at least in my head. Usually.) at the wishes of "good luck with the jet lag". I dont know if it's because I'm going the opposite way, or because of the time and route that I flew or if it's just because it's so hot here.....whatever it is, this jet lag mess is no joke.

But I'm powering through and today is much better. I'm fairly functional, staying awake at my desk and might even have the energy to walk home from the train station (instead of taking a bus). 

It's funny how God truly gives us things in life to prepare us for what's to come. Only in this case, I didn't think that all those times I went to work hungover would prepare me for my international experience. (Fritha, Pickle, Pie - I'm looking at you). 

Asian Adventure: Day 1

So you know how I told you The BF moved to Singapore?  Well, he did. He’s still there. And now I’m going to visit! I’ve been planning this visit pretty much since before he left, so I’ve been looking forward to it for a while. We’ve planned side trips to Indonesia (awesome little beach resort on an Indonesian island) and Cambodia (touring around Siem Reap and the temple ruins at Angkor Wat) and Malaysia (Malacca and Kuala Lumpur. KL has some REALLY tall buildings. Like the hotel double tower thing that used to be the tallest building in the world until they built the Burj Dubai…or whatever they’re calling it these days.  But yeah, that’s pretty much why I want to go there. I like tall things. Eiffel Tower, Space Needle, window seats on airplanes: I like looking down on things from up high. It’s fun!)

I’m literally en route, writing this from the Tokyo Airport (which is lovely).  With the time difference, it’s just about midnight in Seattle, so as a first post of my Asian adventure, I’ll start by giving you the highlights of today. To make it easier, I’ll break it up into things I did and things I didn’t do.

Things I did today:

• -          Got up at 5am to finish packing and getting my apartment ready to leave.
• -          Washed some dishes that have been sitting in my sink/on my counter for LITERALLY weeks, waiting to be washed. (Go ahead, judge away. I judge myself for that.)
• -          Went to The BF’s storage unit to get his flip flops and bathing suits (for said island beach resort trip). Somehow, despite talking about it several times –and visiting the storage unit several times (ahem, tent) I managed to not remember to do that until TODAY.
• -          Got a tetanus shot. Technically, I got the full DTAP booster, for tetanus and diphtheria and pertussis. Been meaning to do that for a while. Figure I should really make it happen before leaving the country.
• -          Took a shower. (This may sound unworthy of mention, but when looking at the rest of these lists, I think you’ll understand the feat this was.)
• -          Packed a ridiculous amount of stuff into 2 suitcases and a carry-on tote. Managed to keep one of the suitcases under the 50 lb weight limit. Speaking of, when did they change the international baggage weight limit to 50 lbs?!
• -          Watched the cab I called to go to the airport drive off without me. I was wrestling the aforementioned heavy suitcases out my apartment door and the cab driver apparently got tired of waiting and drove away. I watched him drive away.
• -          Talked to my mom, The BF, Queenie and texted with Julie Vegas, Fritha and KJ.
• -          Drove to my office and picked up two large boxes of Christmas china. Took them home.
• -          Interacted with co-workers assisting me in this endeavor without earrings, make-up or combed hair. I also had not showered or brushed my teeth. They helped me anyway.
• -          Bought vitamins. Fit them into the aforementioned suitcases.
• -          Attended a conference call for work.
• -          Met a Gamecocks fan in the Tokyo airport. He’s from SC and his brother is a linebacker on the football team at Carolina. He was impressed to meet an alumni from SC in the Tokyo airport. Or maybe he was just scared cuz I’m so old. Either way.
• -          Read a whole book.
• -          Watched The Avengers. It was good….kinda wish I’d seen it in the theater though.
• -          Watched The Hunger Games. Twice. Even though I have seen it. In the theater. At IMAX.
• Made it onto my 1pm PT flight, with bags checked and carry-on stowed and even had time to get an iced coffee at the airport SBUX.

Things I didn’t do today:

• -          Watch tv or use the internet. Cuz I canceled cable while I’m gone and it shut off at midnight.
• -     Remember that I had no tv or internet. Until I tried several times to access both of those things , including Netflix via XBOX 360, several times.
• -          Brush my teeth. I know. Gross. I felt gross all day. I was basically naked when my cab driver called to tell me he’d arrived, so in the rush to throw clothes on and wrestle my suitcases out the door, tooth-brushing didn’t happen. Of course, if I had known that my cab driver was leaving me and I’d have to wait 10 mins for another one, I could have brushed my teeth. And put on face cream. And maybe even make-up. Because those are things I also did not do.
• -          Sleep on my first flight like I’d planned.
• -          Work out. (ha!)
• -          Wash my hair. I meant to do that, but….well……you know.
• -          Remember to put deodorant on BEFORE I packed it. Fortunately I was able to quickly pull out some deodorant from my travel toiletries bag and did wear deodorant today.

So that’s the first day of my Asian adventure. More to come. 

Douchebag of the Week

Y'all. I have some friends who are dating DUDES.

I mean....DUDES.

Pie recently went through this with a 20-something-year-old dude who wore low-slung sweatpants with a popped-collar polo shirt and sunglasses on his forehead after dark. In Seattle. Where we dont have sun anyway.

Then there's Queenie. Who's been seeing this dude for 3 months (or so). And when they hang out, they have a great time. He's super fun and sporty and interesting and thinks she's super fun and interesting. They have fun outings or just fun conversations over dinner, etc.

There are just a couple of problems here:
- They've been seeing each other for 3 months and never has the conversation of "are we exclusive?" come up. When you're in college, or immediately thereafter, that may seem normal. But by the time you are a real adult, you are likely not dating just for fun and want to be in a relationship. And if the guy you're seeing is a real adult (NOTE: age is just a number when it comes to this. more on that later.), he'll be in the same situation. Men are pretty simple: they like what they like. If he likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you, he's not going to let much time go by before he tries to lock you down. Let's take Fritha and Conan for example. Four months after they met, they were dating pretty seriously and he's trying to figure out how to drop the L bomb without freaking her out. Even BF and me - once I realized we were dating, it was not long at all (< 3 months) before we were serious. He was dragging me to his work functions, to meet his friends in other cities, to meet his family in another state. (standard disclaimer: every relationship is different and everybody moves at their own pace, blah blah blah so, you know, whatevs)

- The guy, let's call him Tank, doesnt have a "real job" so he has a weird schedule and lots of time on his hands. Therefore he takes lots of last minute side trips to play golf, go to the beach, go to a wedding. Due to this, his schedule is a little wacky and he isnt really into planning things. Which would be fine, except that it bugs Queenie. She has her ess together and likes to plan things. Case in point: July 2, she texts him to ask if he has July 4th plans and invites him to hang out. He tells her he's not sure he's going to be in town. July 4th was a Wednesday this year. Makes impromptu out-of-town trips a little harder. And yet, still, less than 48 hours before fireworks time, he's not sure he's going to be in town. This is either a blow-off or the lame, flaky truth, but either way, ugh.

- But even the flakiness and lack of scheduling could be overlooked....except.....his preferred communication method is texting. Now, as a general rule, I'm not anti-texting. But it is a limited sort of communication vehicle and needs to be balanced with phone calls, emails, post cards, in-person chats, etc. to have real conversations. Apparently Tank does not agree. He pretty much ONLY texts Queenie. Even after she told him that she would like them to add more in-person time in among the texting, he continues to primarily text her. 


So, Queenie decides this is not the kind of relationship she wants to be in and responds to his text by saying "BTW - I'm kinda over all this texting. LMK if you wanna hang out in person sometime."

She is clearly articulating a communication preference to someone with whom she is going on dates. I support this.

The response,via text of course, effectively clenching his spot as DBOTW: "ok".


Queenie is walking away, head held high. 

"Before you see it on Facebook...."

Things our parents never had to deal with: phone calls from friends that begin with "I just needed to tell you something before you saw it on Facebook".

Generally this statement prefaces some big news (engaged, married, pregnant, divorced) and generally I'm grateful for the heads up. I dont mind learning big news about long-lost friends this way, but close friends, I would rather hear from personally. In fact, I have warned friends who I expect to have big news soon, that this news should be conveyed personally. Fritha, Conan, Rosie, Frannie, PattyCake, Pickle - I'm looking at you.

I had two such "before it's on Facebook...." conversations recently: one was a dear friend who was telling me she's engaged (so excited for them!!!) and one was a friend telling me she's expecting twins. (TWINS!!!) And this is very exciting news.

It's just such a sign of the times that these conversations take place. We are all so addicted to the internet (by "we" I mean "me and hopefully y'all too, but I say we so I'm not alone in my psychosis") that it's the source of information gathering, news sharing, meeting, dating, buying, selling, learning, telling.....you get the point. And while it's often very efficient to share news on Facebook, because you can quickly reach a large number of people, there are still some of us who like the phone call.

So any of you about to share big news, make at least a few phone calls before putting it on Facebook. If you call me, I promise to respond with an appropriate amount of emotion and support. Possibly even an overload of emotion and support. I mean, you know how I do.

In a nutshell....

I'm weird. At best, I'm "quirky and charming". At worst, I'm "freaking odd". Mostly I'm somewhere in between.

This is me, in a nutshell:
Music: In the last year I've been to two concerts. Both were arena shows where I had free suite tickets. One show was Motley Crue, the other was Beyonce.

Beverages: I went to dinner last weekend with some clients and other "vendors"/associates of my clients. I ordered a specialty cocktail called "Tickled Pink" that was champagne with a little pink liquer in it. I tried to order a second, but the restaurant was out of the pink liquer, so I ordered a stein of dark beer that required two hands to lift and drink. I have a pink flask.

Clothing: I wear my designer jeans with my pit-stained sorority t-shirts from college. I own at least six sequined sweaters as well as pants that have been hemmed with duct tape. I shop at Nordstrom and Target.

Home decor: I have a goat puppet hanging from a lamp and a framed map of Cusco, Peru decorating my living room. A room which is furnished in mostly hand-me-down furniture (thanks Pickle, Fritha and Pie!) and Pottery Barn.

Hobbies: Because they're my client, I started playing D&D. It's pretty fun; I use hot pink dice. I also watch reality TV. And football. I have season tickets to UW games and just joined a fantasy football league. Currently, I'm watching Green Bay vs. Chicago and flipping to an ABC Family Original movie (My Fake Fiance) on the commercials.

Movies: I love Pulp Fiction and Steel Magnolias. I quote Old School as easily as I quote The Sound of Music.


Yeah.....

Douchebag of the Week

This week's honor goes to an unnamed group. I'm not withholding names to protect the innocent. These douches a) are not innocent and b) deserve to be called out. Sadly, I do not know their names.

This week's DBOTW: car thieves. Specifically, the jerkfaces who stole my car.

Anybody who will take my 1990s Honda from my parking lot late on a Friday night and abandon it 1.5 blocks away is a douchebag. They ripped out the ignition box to start it (and drive it 1.5 blocks) and then just left it in the parking lot of Pie and Fritha's former apartment building. They didn't even take the Bacon Salt that was in the car.

They didn't take the clothes, the football or the beer (I have a couple of cans of Natty Light in the trunk, leftover from "Poor Life Choices" theme night at mini-golf. I had forgotten they were there until the thieves' rummaging uncovered them.)

They didn't even go joy riding in the car. I happened to remember the mileage on my trip odomoter when I left a friend's house the night before it was taken (577.5). She lives 15 (or so) miles away from me, so when I found the car with an unmoved gas gauge needle and a trip odometer of 592.3, I knew they SERIOUSLY drove it a block and a half.

The snotrags' little 1.5 block jaunt cost me $500 for a new ignition...box...thing. And now I have to use 2 different keys on my car: one to open the door, one to drive. It's annoying. And not fair.

Now if this were the first time my car had been stolen, I might just be grateful to get it back.

But no.

The first time, the jerks who stole it abandoned it in Kent (a hole of a town 30 minutes away) with the windows down (in Seattle, in the winter) and stole some clothes I had in the car. Some nice clothes that I needed to drop off to be dry-cleaned.

The second time, the d-nozzles drove it a few miles away, left the lights on, which drained the battery, and the door open. They left the computer in the trunk and left the clothes I needed to drop at Goodwill in the back seat. But the box of hand-me-down dishes I inherited from Rosie...they took.

So this time, when my car was stolen, I was kinda hoping it wouldn't come back. It's my first theft since moving to the LQA and I thought maybe I was free. Bah.

And that's why Car Thieves get named Douchebag of the Week. And why my car's nickname is "Boomer" - as in "Ang" not "Esiason".

Just. Out. of. Reach.

My toes, that is.

When I was younger (like middle school) I was very athletic and therefore strong and flexible. I could sit on the floor, legs out to the side in a near split, arms out to the side grabbing toes and lean forward and put my face on the floor.

That is no small feat for someone who is 5'9".

I came home from the gym the other night and was stretching and realized that the flexibility of my youth is no longer with us. I sat on the floor with legs stretched out in front of me, feet together, and reached for my toes. No dice. I could barely reach my ankles.

Fritha has never been able to touch her toes, so she wouldnt find this odd. But I usedacould stretch my fingers past my feet and rest my wrists on my toes.

In the days since, I've dedicated a portion of my evening (while watching tv, obvi) to stretching. I can now almost get my fingertips to my toes. I think maybe I could lunge forward and tickle my toes for a second, but I couldnt hold that position.

So that's my goal. To touch my toes.

It's good to have goals, right?!

Rilla #12

So, I'm cat-sitting for Rosie and Sigma this week.

Their cat Doyle just hasn't been the same since his "domestic life partner", Skunky, passed away in December. Rosie and Sigma are nervous for him and really hate to leave him alone overnight. So they asked me to stay at their house so that Doyle wasn't alone.

I moved in a couple of days ago and have been having a lovely time at Rosie & Sigma's. I've eaten their food, used their washing machine and consumed their liquor. All with their blessing.

It's been really hot this week and Monday night I went over to Pie's house to watch The Bachelorette with Pie and Fritha and Pickle (per our usual) and when I got home, the house was warm. I opened windows to get some breeze going on in the house, but it took a while to have an effect.

In order to cope, I wound up lying on the living room floor, wearing shorts and only a bra, waiting for it to cool off. It was too hot for a t-shirt....too hot for sitting on the couch...too hot for anything but lying on the floor, shirtless. At one point, I thought an icy cold beverage would help, but decided that getting up to get said beverage would be a lot of effort. So there on the floor I laid and there on the floor I stayed.

Even though I was at Rosie & Sigma's and not at my house, the point remains the same: those of us who live alone can lie shirtless on the floor without worrying about someone tripping over us, stepping on us or whining that we're in the way. Nor do we have to feel bad about lying on the floor shirtless when clearly there is laundry or housecleaning that could be done.

I love living alone! At my house or yours....

Look what I did!

Check out my wordle! Woo!

I'm all fancy and stuff.

Disclaimers about the wordle:
1) I did not write the code for it myself. I totally jacked it from another site. BUT I did successfully add it to my page, so give me a little credit.
2) I did pick out the colors all by myself. And might change them to match the new background as soon as I figure out how to change the background the way I want.
3) I love the word "wordle". I try to use it when I can.
4) I'm trying not to be disturbed by the size of the word Douchebag. Or Fritha. Apparently, that's what I write about. Fritha and Douchebags.

Douchebag of the Week

Yes, I know the title of the feature is a misnomer. Get over it.

This "week", the honor goes to CrapBag, an, um, ah...associate*...of Maid Marian.

Maid Marian met CrapBag last fall, when he was moving into her apartment building. He was very cordial and friendly and stopped to chat with her every time he saw her in the parking lot or stairwell.

Not long after he moved in, CrapBag left a note on her door letting her know that he thought she was great and he wanted to take her to dinner sometime. Cool! They continued talking in the parking lot and stairwell and even sometimes by phone!

When Maid Marian and I were hanging out over Thanksgiving, she excitedly told me that she had a nice new neighbor who had asked her out. They had yet to go out, but she was looking forward to getting to know him better. They continued talking through the busy holiday times, and even spent some time together, baking cookies, wrapping gifts, etc.

In the following weeks, Maid Marian and CrapBag invited each other over for dinners, had long chats and even had some kissing time. Maid Marian found that she really enjoyed CrapBag's company and entertained the idea of being in a relationship with him. So they discuss this possibility and CrapBag shares his hesitation in getting into a RELATIONSHIP (cuz, they're like, SO scary and stuff) and Maid Marian agrees that they'll just continue getting to know one another, with no titles or pressure. **Keep in mind, at this point, they still have not been on a real date.**

In mid-May, Maid Marian comes to visit me. She had told CrapBag that she was planning a trip to the Packin-dubs (PacNW...Pacific Northwest...does it work?) but didnt share specifics. Despite the fact that she hadnt heard from him in the week before her trip, her second night here, she received a text message from CrapBag. At 7:53pm. Pacific Time. Which is 10:53pm in CrapBag's time zone. Fritha, Conan, Pie and I witnessed the text and in our expert opinion it was, in fact, a booty call. Clearly.

Over the course of her visit, Maid Marian ignores a total of 5 texts from CrapBag and finally responds to let him know she's out of town. Maybe it was his communication habits, maybe it was the accidental hike, the rain, the cocktails or my fabulous couch but Maid Marian decided she did not want to be in limbo with CrapBag. She either wanted a relationship (ooooh...scary) or a friendship, but she needed some definition.

She returns home, tells CrapBag this, to which he responds, "well,uh...uh...I mean...uh...I thought we didnt want a relationship (ooooh....scary)." Maid Marian says "yeah, well, now I do" and leaves.

Firm in her decision, she ignores his late night texts and begins exploring other dating options. The DAY AFTER she meets another eligible young man, CrapBag calls and says "I mean...maybe we could think about seeing where things could go....and maybe have a...you know...relationship (ooooh....scary)."

Now let's remember that it was in NOVEMBER that CrapBag left the note for Maid Marian suggesting they go to dinner. And in the 8 months since (Yes, 8 months...nearly long enough to grow a full-term baby. Or a Trans Am-worthy mullet.) he has yet to make good on his offer. So, why should she believe he would make good on his offer to "maybe think about seeing where things could go....and maybe have a...you know...relationship (ooooh....scary)."

Douchebag. Maid Marian is moving on.



*due to the fact that CrapBag never took Maid Marian on a real date, he can not be referred to as "boyfriend" or even "some douche she dated" but neither is he her "baby daddy" or "lurver" and is therefore an "associate".

Gathering Dust

I've been partially through several books for a while now. Somehow I just keep finding other things to do besides reading.

But today I FINISHED A BOOK! I was waiting for the bus this morning (which was about 15 minutes late and therefore crowded and slow all the way in to the office) and I opened up the book that was stashed in my bag. And I READ IT!

A few months ago (ok, maybe it was last summer...time goes by so quickly at my age) I was having snacks on the patio at the Red Lion Hotel with Fritha and Conan (and I think Pickle and PattyCake and Traskinator? and maybe some others?) when Conan reminded me of an author I hadnt read in years. We were discussing medical conditions and mitochondrial diseases came up and Conan said "isnt that what the boy in A Wrinkle in Time had?"

I LOVED that book as a kid. In fact, I loved the whole series, particularly the third book, A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Re-read it several times. Upon sharing that with Conan, he informed me that I am a big nerd and that reading sci-fi/fantasy books like that thoroughly stamped my geek card.

Not that I deny my geekdom. Despite having been told "I don't really get the geek vibe from you" I really am a geek and I embrace it. After discussing Madeleine L'Engle's books with Conan and Fritha, I went searching the trilogy to re-re-read it. Unfortunately those books still live at home with mom and dad. After unsuccessfully searching the intertubes for a downloadable version, I gave up.

At Conan's last weekend, I was sitting on the deck, enjoying a nice 7 & 7 and wishing for a nice book to read. Since he didnt have any US Weeklys lying around, I hit the bookshelf, where I found A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Yay! I picked it up and began reading. And enjoyed it just as much this time as all those times before.

AND I can finally mark a book "100%" in my new reading progress chart! Maybe now I'll get around to finishing the other books that are stacked by my bed, on my kitchen counter, desk and coffee table.

STILL Can't. Focus.

But can breathe. My sinus infection thing is mostly gone, just a bit of a lingering cough. The lack of focus has more to do with my (self-diagnosed) ADD than a stuffy nose or associated medicines.

As usual, my illness struck at the most inopportune time: busy week at work and out-of-town guest. So I had to drug up and power through. Which I did and now I'm fine. Yay.

Despite my stuffy nose and cold meds, Maid Marian and I had a lovely visit. She got in on a Wednesday night and spent the next couple of days exploring the city, hitting the Market, the flagship Nordstrom, other lovely city spots. We ate at such fabulous places as Collins Pub and Pesos, visited the Space Needle (at sunset, ftw!) and loitered about.

Maid Marian got to meet Pie and Fritha and Conan and partake of Conan's delicious kabobs. She also got to meet The Tad, FrankieWayne, PattyCake, Pickle and others (about whom she had heard many stories).

This was all fun, but probably the highlight of the trip was the lovely hike we took...by accident.

Seattle has ferryboats. Ferryboats are cool. We thought it'd be fun to ride one. So we looked up the ferry schedule and prices and figured out where the ferry terminals were and decided that we'd take the ferry to Vashon Island. I'd heard it was fun.

So we purchase passenger fares and walk on to the ferry. We have a lovely ride, see some great views and land on Vashon, where we start walking toward downtown. We walk (at approximately a 6% grade) for 30 minutes or so and come upon the Vashon Island Realty Office, which advertises maps and ferry schedules. We stop in to pick up maps and schedules and the guy says "You girls walkin' to town?" And we say "Yes sir." (we're good Southern girls...of course we said Yes sir).
To which he replied "You thought it was close to the ferry terminal, didn't you?"
Uh...blink blink. "We didnt really know...we're just adventurin'."
"Yeah, town's about 4 more miles from here."
Uh...blink blink.

By this point, we figure we've walked that far, we might as well keep walking. Plus, it was nice weather and we didnt have anything else we had to do. So we kept walking.

We passed 3 houses, a retirement center, a cat store (where you could buy cats, not stuff for cats), lots of trees, some fields and a couple of horses. We're pretty sure the horses were laughing at us. Much like the drivers of the cars who kept passing us.

Something like 55 minutes passes and we walk upon an Episcopal Church that is also a bus stop. I remember someone (JazzHands I think) telling me that town was "a little ways" from the ferry terminal and thinking I should have asked "Whatchu mean 'a little ways'?"

By this point, we are hot, thirsty, in need of "facilities" and just plain over it. We hop the bus back to the ferry terminal and realize that there's this dumpy looking Mexican resturant on the water, so we head in to wait for the ferry. We found a nice little table on the deck, ordered (delicious) nachos and margaritas and spent the next couple of hours reminiscing about our accidental hike.

I really should send her this as a reminder of our outing.

Can't. Focus. Or Breathe.

It's official.

Despite my best efforts at...what's the word...avoiding? preventing? staving off? this disease, I do, in fact, have a sinus infection. As diagnosed by me.

My symptoms: headache, sore face, stuffy nose (but no dripping).
Additional side effects: lack of...what...oh...yeah...focus, temporary heavy mouth-breathing, inability to participate in conversations, lack of focus, perma-thirst (likely due to aforementioned mouth-breathing) and AWESOME husky, nasal voice.

My Tylenol Sinus wore off exactly 8 minutes ago and my head is sorta throbbing/sorta spinning.

(...long pause while I stare at the Chick-Fil-A cow who sits above my monitor and then do a little more work on this half-page document I've been trying to finish since about noon....)

I have to sit on a series of conference calls tomorrow, where my client and I talk to reporters. Given my temporary status as an HMB (heavy mouth-breather), I'm going to have to be EXTRA aware of my telephone headset, so as not to creep out the reporters.

(I finally finish the half-page thing for tomorrow's meetings and send it off. Then I pick up the phone and call Gordy [who sits literally 15 feet from me] to ask, "Hey, did we find out if the Billy guy in Texas put that thing we had in the kits...before he sent them?" Seriously, that's a direct quote. When I heard "uhhhh" on the other end of the phone, I realized that maybe my question was not so clear and tried again, with "I mean, the poster/flyer thing...that you made for us to put in the kits that got sent out. You know, the marketing kits...or game kits." Admittedly, not much better, but functional, as it led Gordy to confirm that Billy did put the things in the kits.)

Time for more Tylenol Sinus, this time, with orange juice.

Bus home, then long walk with Pickle, for some good fresh air. Tylenol Sinus wears off again as soon as I get home. Except that now, it's almost bedtime, so I dont want to take more daytime medicine, but I'm not quite ready for bed, so I dont want to take nighttime medicine, which leaves me in a state of really vicious mouth-breathing. Deciding that I'm not going to win the "daytime medicine vs. nighttime medicine debate" at this point, I eat some leftover quiche and ramen for dinner, brew a big cup of hot tea and sit down to watch Mean Girls.

At which point, I remember that I have some "cold remedy nasal gel" in my medicine cabinet. Now while I've been diagnosed with a sinus infection, rather than a common cold, I decide that stuffy nose is stuffy nose and I'm gonna give it a whirl. So I remove the wrapper and read the instructions. I shove the thingy up my nostrils (one at a time) and squirt. Then pinch my nostrils for 5 seconds, to spread the gel around.

Due to the drying effect of the drugs and the drying effect of mouth-breathing, I've consumed more beverages than usual today. To give you an idea, here's the list (in chronological order):

• Large mug of coffee
• Big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Can of Diet Coke
• Refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Another refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Another can of Diet Coke
  
• Little bottle of orange juice
• Yet another refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
  
• Big glass of water
• Refill of big glass of water
• Big mug of hot tea

And if tonight is anything like last night, I'll have another big mug of hot tea and another big glass of water.

I have a giant mug that mom bought me at Marshall's (for like $2) and I LOVE it. It's the mug from which I've been drinking the multiple mugs of hot tea. It makes being sick more fun. Kinda like Fritha's heart-shaped juice cup.

Ah...the ramblings of a sinus-infected mind. Seriously...can't focus. Or breathe. And now I have a weird nostril good situation. So far, not impressed with the "cold remedy nasal gel".

What's the best way to move a couch into a new apt?

Apparently, over the railing, down to the ground, then down the street.

Fritha was moving into a new apartment that is exactly 1.75 blocks from her old apartment. She did most of the moving in a couple of trips in her car and Conan's car, over the course of a couple of days.

The largest, most awkward item that needed to be moved was her couch and it required a little more effort than the other items. When the couch first arrived at Fritha's home, it took 6 adults a few hours to get it into the apartment. Doors were taken off their hinges, light fixtures were removed, there was much screaming and crying and drinking. Ok, maybe there wasnt crying.

To get the couch (Craigslist find, sub-$100) out of the apartment, a repeat of this procedure would NOT be happening. Which left "off the balcony" as the best alternative for getting the couch out of the 2nd floor apartment.

The date was set, the accomplices were invited and the plan was formed. Fritha and Conan bought rope and Simpson and the Vegases and I formed a plan. Debating the merits of end-over-end or "seated position drop" we picked a direction, moved the couch onto the balcony and tied the ropes (one around each end to hold weight, one around the middle for steering). Division of labor: Simpson, Conan and the Vegases slowly lowering the couch, me on the ground steering and taking pictures. Once the couch was lowered, we picked it up and carried it across, the street, one block on the sidewalk, cut through the 7-11 parking lot and into Fritha's new building. We wrestled the couch up the three flights of stairs and into its new home, which is lovely.

It's in a new apartment, but I have no doubt that it will serve as a comfortable resting spot for many people in months to come. People like out of town friends, visiting family members and various others who just like to sleep there for fun (ahem...Pickle and me).

LLAMAS! Part #3

So, I never really finished the post on my trip to Peru. And at this point, should I even bother?

Here's the quick wrap-up:
Day 2 on the trail was RIDICULOUS and raining all day. But we made it up and over Dead Woman's Pass, ahead of schedule and without needing oxygen. woo!
Day 3 on the trail was AWESOME. We had amazing weather, gorgeous views and were (again) ahead of schedule, giving us plenty of time for sightseeing and historical stories. We arrived at camp ahead of all other groups and settled in for the afternoon, eating candy bars and drinking local beer and enjoying the day and our hiking group. The Andes Mountains are truly majestic and gorgeous.
Day 4 started WAY before sun-up. I don't generally like to wake up before God wakes up and turns the lights on, but it was kinda worth it. We arrived at the highly lauded Sun Gate in time to see the sun rise over the ruins at Machu Picchu. At least, that's what we would have seen if not for the pea soup-like fog surrounding us. So we kept hiking and made it to the entrance to Machu Picchu in time to see the fog rise from below us and dissipate. The rest of the day was gorgeous as we dragged our tired, aching, sore, pained, exhausted bodies around the ruins and had a great time. After touring around, we headed into town for lunch and bevos (yay!) then took a dip in the natural hot springs and slept in a bed for the first time in many many days.
The next day, we tooled around Aguas Calientes, ate some delicious pizza and took the train back to Cusco.
Train ride: hilarious. We had snacks and a fashion show.
Commute from train station: bizarre. We arrived ahead of the other groups and our bus driver arranged a car for us. We piled in and rode the 45 minutes back to town at breakneck speed, up and down a mountain on a barely paved road with no lanes, with the gas gauge on E the entire time. Fritha thought she was going to die the whole time. Queenie, Midori and I were in the backseat, largely oblivious and having nice chats.

The rest of the time in Peru included dinner at Hilbert's resturant, birthday shenanigans for Fritha (ask her about the gift we got her) and an outing to a Peruvian night club, where we danced A LOT with Pixie, our new Irish friend. (ask Queenie or me to show you Pixie's signature dance move).

Delicious breakfast buffet at the swanky hotel in Cusco, followed by some time in the sun and last minute shopping and we were on our way home.

It was an AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME trip and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

The end.

Questionnaire Thingy

Ok, this is a silly little thing I poached from another blog. But it's pretty fun.

***************FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch. On salad, on French fries, on chicken fingers, sometimes on pizza…you get the picture.
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Oh so many. Peso’s, Serafina, The Met
3. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Turkey sandwich…in fact, I think I’ve done this
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice? Mushrooms take the #1 spot, but basically, I like my pizza like I like my men: LOADED!
5. What do you like to put on your toast? Bacon
***************TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house? 2. I’m not the original owner of either of them.
2. What colour cell phone do you have? shiny lime-ish green
*****************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right handed. I tried to train myself to be more left-handed once…it was kinda fun!
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth, splinters, stray eyebrows
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted? Printers. Lots and lots of printers.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious or fainted? Fainted once. Been close to it several times. I have this condition….
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes and no
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Heck yeah! I once attempted to eat a spoonful of ground cinnamon for $50. (in case you’re wondering, I couldn’t do it and ended up sneezing up cinnamon for the next 3 days)
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Not enough!!
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Define run-in? Actually, I don’t remember the last time I even saw a cop, much less had an encounter or a “run-in”
3. Last person you hugged? Fritha?
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season? Football
2. Holiday? Christmas
3. Day of the week? Friday
4. Month? September
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone? Yes
2. Mood? Happy
3. What are you listening to? the TV
4. Watching? Ugly Betty
5. Worrying about? my credit card bill
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning? the bathroom
2. What’s the last movie you saw? He’s Just Not That Into You...with Pickle and Pie and friends
3. Do you smile often? Actually, yeah
********************QUESTIONS******************
1. Do you always answer your phone? Nope
2. You love…? poofy skirts, warm chocolate chip cookies, the beach and pink champagne
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be? Terminator Blue. Don't freak out, Wafer!
4. What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic? Cherry…mmmm
5. Do you own a digital camera? Yes. Two actually. I think both of them have dead batteries right now.
6. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night
7. What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Fritha and Conan made my wish list come true: they gave me a pink flask and a Big Fat Llama
8. Can you do push ups? Yes. I’m better at the “girl” kind
9. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Both
10. Ever been in a car wreck? Yep. I am now the proud owner of some guard rail on I-95 as a result.
11. Do you have an accent? Yes ma’am.
12. What is the last song to make you cry? Dunno, but it was probably country music.
13. Plans tonight? Update my blog
14. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Not yet
15. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: phad thai, chicken cashew nut and chopsticks? (all I bought yesterday was lunch)
16. Name 3 things from the bailout: is this like a quiz?
17. Have you ever been given roses? Yes. Some of them were even Killarney roses
18. Current hate right now? Scarlet Johannsen. She’s #1 on my list of celebrities I want to fight.
19. Met someone who changed your life? Yes
20. How did you bring in the New Year? At a wedding! With Rocky & Bullwinkle and Rosie & Sigma and a DJ who had ZERO Michael Jackson music
21. Name three people who might complete this? Meh.
22. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Eating a cupcake! Thanks Frannie!
23. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Crap! I have an 8am conference call!

Old, Older, Oldest

Last week was my birthday. I turned another year older.

I loved my birthday this year. It was on Friday the 13th (which is awesome) and I got to go to work! (I love going to work on my birthday...everyone has to be nice to me!)

PattyCake wrangled a fun crew (Pickle and G-Funk and Shanks) for a birthday lunch, because she said "no one should have to eat Lean Cuisine on her birthday." We headed to Collins Pub, where my steak sandwich was fantastic, both glasses of wine were delicious and the waitress brought us a birthday dessert.

Back at the office, my Big Purple Cup was returned to me, I was toasted at our "staff meeting" and after a couple glasses of wine, PattyCake and I headed out. We got on a bus to go to my birthday party, missed our stop but managed to find our way home from wherever we got off the bus.

After changing into a Sparkly Sweater Dress, I headed to the Nabob, where Rosie, Frannie, Bullwinkle, Fritha, Conan and Pie were all waiting with gifts. I got a tape measure, a flask, a Big Fat Llama and cupcakes. Yay!

Over the course of the evening, we had a great time just mingling with each other and the other fantastic friends who joined us: Jazz Hands, Sigma, Traskinator, FrankieWayne, Pickle and Skater among others.

And since we're not spring chickens anymore, we headed home around 11:30pm and got a good night's sleep.

2009 birthday cupcake count: 9 (major improvement over 2008)

All in all, an EXCELLENT birthday.

Facebook User is writing terrible status updates.

I love the internet. I really really do. And specifically, I love Facebook. It helps me keep tabs on people who live far away, it gives me access to great little games (like Tiny Adventures) and interesting conversation starters on a regular basis.

However. There are certain things about Facebook that really tick me off. Correction. There are certain things that Facebook users do that really tick me off.

Status updates: don't post lame ones. On Sunday nights, we are ALL sitting around "wishing the weekend weren't over" and "don't want to go to work tomorrow" and probably "thinking this week's going to be busy". Please be more original than that. And even though the point of the status update is to keep us all updated on your status, please don't point out the obvious. Your status should not say "is at work" or "is tired" or (this one's the worst) just plain "is".

I understand, it's a lot of work to consistently come up with clever and witty status updates. But don't feel you have to be clever all the time! You could be meaningful, intriguing, artful, nostalgic, referential or shocking. Mrs. Lucci frequently uses quotes for status updates and it's nice. A lot of people could learn from her.

But I can forgive a lame status update if it's a complete sentence. The format of the status update is to start a sentence with your name (the subject) and then include a verb and direct object or adverb or prepositional phrase as needed (the predicate). An example of this would be: "Fritha wonders why wine always tastes so good" or "The Pickle thinks DVR is the world's best invention" or "Charlie knows how to write complete sentences."

Now, that should clear things up. I really don't want to read any more status updates like, "Willseph Go Huskies" or "Armstrong Time to run a mid-afternoon errand" or "Nick Burns Burns family crest is a barracuda".

Seriously people. Don't make me start a new blog feature calling out status update offenders. Something like first offense gets you posted, second offense gets you posted and mocked, third offense gets you posted with your real name. And mocked.

Air Freshener for My Life

I've kinda been in a funk lately. Just a general discontentment. Multiple factors contributed to this malaise: general post-holiday blues, I still think about a guy who's no longer in my life, I'm broke, my clothes are lame, first Christmas without my aunt, I'm broke, anniversary of my brother's death, a rug that won't stay clean, weird stuff at work and a couple of other things.

The funk has been manifesting in weird ways. Like not grocery shopping and eating stupid meals (seriously...Cheetos dipped in queso?). And sleeping on the loveseat. And crying at work. And panic attacks. And bad hair.

But the funk stops here.

A few days ago, I started pinpointing some of sources of the funk and doing what I can to fix it. I talked to some people at work to help deal with the weird stuff and that's getting much better (no more crying at my desk! yay!). I went to the grocery store and bought normal stuff like lettuce and bread and milk (and wine and lean cuisine, of course). I bought a vacuum to help keep the rug clean.

And now, to really get rid of the funk, I think I need to mix things up. So I'm training for a 5K and doing online dating. Yes, I said online dating.

When I mentioned this to some friends, Fritha's boyfriend (Conan), suggested I sign up for multiple dating sites and chronicle my experiences. You know, like on a blog or something. (can you guess what's coming next??)

So I've signed up for online dating. On multiple sites. Stories soon to come. Maybe I'll get a book deal out of this some day. Or MAYBE I'll meet a nice guy who's not a pansy. It's a win-win.