Facebook User is writing terrible status updates.

I love the internet. I really really do. And specifically, I love Facebook. It helps me keep tabs on people who live far away, it gives me access to great little games (like Tiny Adventures) and interesting conversation starters on a regular basis.

However. There are certain things about Facebook that really tick me off. Correction. There are certain things that Facebook users do that really tick me off.

Status updates: don't post lame ones. On Sunday nights, we are ALL sitting around "wishing the weekend weren't over" and "don't want to go to work tomorrow" and probably "thinking this week's going to be busy". Please be more original than that. And even though the point of the status update is to keep us all updated on your status, please don't point out the obvious. Your status should not say "is at work" or "is tired" or (this one's the worst) just plain "is".

I understand, it's a lot of work to consistently come up with clever and witty status updates. But don't feel you have to be clever all the time! You could be meaningful, intriguing, artful, nostalgic, referential or shocking. Mrs. Lucci frequently uses quotes for status updates and it's nice. A lot of people could learn from her.

But I can forgive a lame status update if it's a complete sentence. The format of the status update is to start a sentence with your name (the subject) and then include a verb and direct object or adverb or prepositional phrase as needed (the predicate). An example of this would be: "Fritha wonders why wine always tastes so good" or "The Pickle thinks DVR is the world's best invention" or "Charlie knows how to write complete sentences."

Now, that should clear things up. I really don't want to read any more status updates like, "Willseph Go Huskies" or "Armstrong Time to run a mid-afternoon errand" or "Nick Burns Burns family crest is a barracuda".

Seriously people. Don't make me start a new blog feature calling out status update offenders. Something like first offense gets you posted, second offense gets you posted and mocked, third offense gets you posted with your real name. And mocked.