I STILL need an alias

Yes, I still need an alias. But I'm getting closer.

Thanks to some lovely co-workers (Jazz Hands and Nick Burns) I have nailed down a last name: Butts-Wiener. Pronounced in the traditional German, phonetically it's "boots-viner"

The challenge now comes in finding a first name. With so many excellent options to choose from, you may be wondering what my problem is. Allow me to explain:
- I could pick a first name that goes well with Butts-Wiener, like Ilsa or Helga....but that seems like overkill. Or too much pressure to affect an eastern European accent.
- I could pick a common first name like Rachel or Sarah...but those are almost TOO common, such that I wouldnt easily learn to respond to them.
- I could go with a variation on my real name....but Barbie Butts-Wiener just sounds TOO made-up.

So I dunno. I may have to just try names on and see what feels good. Judge reactions from others, my ability to respond and (probably most importantly) my ability to introduce myself with a straight face.

I need an alias

I think I need an alias.

You know, for when I find myself in a...um...ah...delicate situation.
Suzanne Sugarbaker has Helen von Patterson Patten.
Karen Walker has Anastasia Beaverhausen.

I have nicknames (Gravy, Charlie, Charlie Murphy, Darkness, T-Dubs) but that's not the same as an alias. Also, my nicknames are stupid. And/or offensive.

I need a good alias! I might have to test drive a few. Maybe this weekend I'll wander around the tailgate lot introducing myself as Ilsa Starkington. Or Tulla Sue Greer. Or....something less lame than both of those.

Crap! Coming up with an alias is hard.