I need an alias

I think I need an alias.

You know, for when I find myself in a...um...ah...delicate situation.
Suzanne Sugarbaker has Helen von Patterson Patten.
Karen Walker has Anastasia Beaverhausen.

I have nicknames (Gravy, Charlie, Charlie Murphy, Darkness, T-Dubs) but that's not the same as an alias. Also, my nicknames are stupid. And/or offensive.

I need a good alias! I might have to test drive a few. Maybe this weekend I'll wander around the tailgate lot introducing myself as Ilsa Starkington. Or Tulla Sue Greer. Or....something less lame than both of those.

Crap! Coming up with an alias is hard.