Tuesday, January 20, 2009

1975: Bad Vintage

Wines take on the personality of the year in which its grapes were harvested. The weather of that year, the soil make-up, the presence of bugs and the date of harvest can all affect the end product. If there was a hurricane or infestation or other naturally occuring snafu, that year's crop and corresponding wines will not be good.

I think men are like that.

For some reason, all the men born in 1975 are completely undate-able. I dont know if it's because of the weather that year, the number of full moons, or maybe it was just the Chinese year of the rat, but it's a bad vintage.

To support my theory, I cite the following examples:
1) The guy who lives in a house with 3 other adults (2 of whom are married to each other and have a newborn baby) because he "can't afford" a place on his own. He can, however, afford to buy marijuana and he and his roommates sit around and smoke pot together on a regular basis. Well, except for the female roommate, because she's still breast-feeding.

2) The guy who was completely wonderful and attentive and fun and a great match for me...until he fell off the face of the earth. Calls and emails went unreturned for months until I got a one-line note asking if I'd gone on my Peruvian vacation yet. Recently, he was deported.

3) Bless his heart, the great guy I dated for a while who just wasn't right for me. Spent a lot of time trying to make it work, but we weren't right together. My heart still hurts about that one.

4) The guy who called to dump my friend The Belton Belle while she was getting on a plane to go visit him after he moved states away.

5) The guy who posted an ad on Craig's List looking for "heroin skinny chicks who like cats" to come get lost in his "beefy arms". (No, I didnt reply to the ad...it was posted by a guy I know)

Any questions?

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