I love weddings. I really do. But every now and then I go to a wedding that is really tacky. For a while, I was averaging one Tacky Wedding a year. The rate has gone down, but every now and then I hit a Tacky Wedding.
Tacky Wedding experiences include:
- Mother of the groom in a white button-down shirt and black slacks, walking down the aisle to a tape of elevator music
- Sitting next to a bra-less woman in a sundress with a tattoo of a naked woman on her arm
- Pregnant bride re-using flowers, music and bridesmaid dresses from a friend's wedding a month earlier (bless her heart)
BUT I think the one that takes the cake, topper and all, is coming up.
Griffith and Cukie are planning the following:
- SoCal in July (read: hotter than all of those Fight Club scenes with Edward Norton and Brad Pitt fighting shirtless)
- Groomsmen in black corduroy "skinny jeans", white button-downs and gray vests, with Vans slide-ons. Because corduroy in July wasn't offensive enough, they had to make them "skinny jeans", which are flattering on absolutely NO ONE.
- Bridesmaids in bright turquoise satin, empire waist with box pleats. It will be hard to pick out the pregnant bridesmaid because they will ALL look pregnant. Oh wait. Except that the box pleats will be totally fanned out around the belly of the 8-month pregnant bridesmaid. Not that it matters how badly the dress fits, because it will be so covered in sweat marks seeing as how she's pregnant in July in SoCal and wearing satin that no one will notice the ill-fitting dress style.
- Giant margarita mixer at the reception.
Um...really? The mother of the groom has already requested to be left out of the planning process, because hearing the details just upsets her.
2 comments:
What about that one wedding with the woman and her Texas hair? That was so hot!
OH! You mean YOUR wedding? With "Miss Texas 1985" who walked around barefoot?
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