Douchebag of the Week

This week, I'm bestowing the title of "DBOTW" on a group of people. Home Depot.

Baconmeister has been renovating his bathroom for approximately 72 years (real time: 16 weeks). They found a leak in the floor and needed to replace some flooring. Upon pulling up the linoleum, they found that some of the subfloor needed to be replaced as well. Then they decided if they're doing that much, they were just going to take the opportunity to make it the bathroom of their dreams.

Yeah.... So they choose the tile, the vanity, the sink, the mirror, the fixtures and the toilet and begin. By begin, of course I mean, they schedule Harvey to come do the work. So Harvey orders all the materials and tells them the sink is on back-order, the tile is going to have to be cut from a fresh batch and the toilet may or may not be available. But Harvey begins where he can. After 4 weeks, Harvey has installed the vanity and sink and fixtures, but there is still no floor or toilet. Because there's no toilet, there's no water, so the beautiful new sink is not functional.

Harvey begins putting in the floor, but can't finish it until the toilet is installed. Finally the blessed day comes when the toilet is to be delivered. The pallet from Home Depot arrives at the house. Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood begin uncrating the item and discover it's in approximately 18 pieces. They call Home Depot, who agrees to quickly ship a replacement. The replacement is a vast improvement: it arrives in 5 pieces. 13 pieces closer to the goal!

Third time's a charm, at least in this case, as the THIRD toilet arrives intact. Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood call Harvey, who promptly arrives at their home, installs said toilet, finishes the floor, turns on the water and saves Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood from a lifetime of running upstairs to use the bathroom.

That's not the douchebaggy part. The douchebaggy part is that when Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood called Home Depot regarding the two piles of toilet shards they received, Home Depot said "yeah...about that. you'll need to take care of those." Keep in mind, these toilets are on PALLETS and weigh about 90 pounds each. They do not fit in Baconmeister's car. They do not fit in Doc Hollywood's SUV. They cannot be lifted by anything less than 4 men. But even if Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood could lift the piles of porcelain, there's the issue of into what they would be lifted! None of this seems to matter to Home Depot, who insists that the unused, unwanted toilets are not their problem. So Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood are stuck with 90 pounds of unwanted ceramic shards.

And that's why Home Depot wins the Douchebag of the Week award. At least for this week. When Baconmeister and Doc Hollywood decide to use the shattered thrones as lawn ornaments or flower pots, they may earn the title.