Do you ever scroll through your cell phone and wonder about the numbers that are still there despite the owner no longer being in your life?
I did this recently and discovered the following:
- a friend from college who currently lives in Uruguay (or Paraguay...I forget which)
- my college roommate who now has a new last name and lives in France
- the (now) wife of a guy who was the roommate of a guy I dated in college
- my third cousin's friend who was in Seattle for business a few years ago
- the Dance Marathon office at the University of South Carolina
- my sorority headquarters
- the douchebag I was involved with, who has since been deported
- spokespeople/clients I no longer work with: some of whom are no longer employed by companies who are no longer my client
- a small company in Columbia, SC, where I interviewed for a job right out of college
- someone named Jessica who advertised a bookshelf on Craigs List
- multiple ex-boyfriends
- some people entered only as first names, whose full identity is a mystery (Katie, Sara, Penny, Rob, Sven)
- husband of a girl I used to work with, neither of whom I've spoken to in more than a year
- my high school statistics teacher's daughter
- Oasis. (No clue what that's supposed to mean, but I doubt it's the band)
- a resturant in Columbia, SC
- several others who now live in foreign countries
- crazy bitch ex-roommate
- guy who is a friend of a friend, who I made out with once
- The Nabob
- conference call dial-in numbers
- an entry titled "Tv cabinet" (yeah....I don't know)
- the Victoria's Secret at Cary Towne Center
And yet, even now, as I scroll through my phone looking at the list of numbers I will probably NEVER need again, I dont delete them. I dont know, maybe, JUST MAYBE I might need to have them at some point. Or maybe there's some weird nostalgic value in it.
Who knows.
Showing posts with label Craigslist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Craigslist. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Man, The Myth, The Legend: The Tad
I know this guy. Let's call him "The Tad". He's ridiculous.
I know I tend to exaggerate for effect when I tell stories, but when I tell stories about The Tad, I don't have to.
The Tad named his cat after his best friend. Sometimes we have to ask if The Tad is referring to the cat or the human when he says "I was hanging out with FrankieWayne the other day and...."
One Labor Day weekend, The Tad talked Sliver, FrankieWayne and me into going to the beach with him. At 11pm. We drove there, stopped at four different fast food resturants, a casino and a gas station, spent an hour at the beach, then drove all the way back. With all the windows down. And got home at dawn.
For Christmas this year, The Tad gave me a collection of Bacon Salt, in multiple flavors.
The Tad met a girl during online dating who lived next door to his ex-girlfriend's new girlfriend. Yeah.
So I tell you that story, to tell you this story.
The Tad was living in the PDX for a while and decided to explore online dating. Via Craigslist. He posted an ad describing himself and his desired mate. He even included a drawing of his ideal pairing. He got a few responses and pursued them. After a date with one such girl, he posted the following:
"We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said 'First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me' was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call, The Tad
P.S. - If you s*** yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…"
The girl responded, told him to move on; his story has been picked up by the local weekly paper, a couple of other blogs and is quickly becoming the stuff of urban legends.
I know I tend to exaggerate for effect when I tell stories, but when I tell stories about The Tad, I don't have to.
The Tad named his cat after his best friend. Sometimes we have to ask if The Tad is referring to the cat or the human when he says "I was hanging out with FrankieWayne the other day and...."
One Labor Day weekend, The Tad talked Sliver, FrankieWayne and me into going to the beach with him. At 11pm. We drove there, stopped at four different fast food resturants, a casino and a gas station, spent an hour at the beach, then drove all the way back. With all the windows down. And got home at dawn.
For Christmas this year, The Tad gave me a collection of Bacon Salt, in multiple flavors.
The Tad met a girl during online dating who lived next door to his ex-girlfriend's new girlfriend. Yeah.
So I tell you that story, to tell you this story.
The Tad was living in the PDX for a while and decided to explore online dating. Via Craigslist. He posted an ad describing himself and his desired mate. He even included a drawing of his ideal pairing. He got a few responses and pursued them. After a date with one such girl, he posted the following:
"We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said 'First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me' was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call, The Tad
P.S. - If you s*** yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…"
The girl responded, told him to move on; his story has been picked up by the local weekly paper, a couple of other blogs and is quickly becoming the stuff of urban legends.
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