Singapore is like a hangover

You know when you're hungover, you feel tired and achy and icky and weird. And it's hard to focus. And bright lights and loud noises hurt your head. Yeah.

The root cause of this, of course, is the dehydration that comes from drinking too much. And with the long plane trip, lack of good sleep and hot hot sweaty weather here, I have become a bit dehydrated.

Anyone who has been to my desk in Seattle has seen the evidence of my regular water consumption: there is a large pink cup and a large water bottle on my desk at all times. I take them to and from the kitchen several times a day to fill them up.

In Singapore, I have only a miniature little water bottle that I fill and refill often. And it has taken several days to get caught up on my water consumption, to the point that I don't feel completely cruddy. 

Due to my experience living on the west coast, with many beloved family and friends on the east coast and my regular cross-country travels, I underestimated the impact of jet lag. I may have even scoffed (at least in my head. Usually.) at the wishes of "good luck with the jet lag". I dont know if it's because I'm going the opposite way, or because of the time and route that I flew or if it's just because it's so hot here.....whatever it is, this jet lag mess is no joke.

But I'm powering through and today is much better. I'm fairly functional, staying awake at my desk and might even have the energy to walk home from the train station (instead of taking a bus). 

It's funny how God truly gives us things in life to prepare us for what's to come. Only in this case, I didn't think that all those times I went to work hungover would prepare me for my international experience. (Fritha, Pickle, Pie - I'm looking at you). 

"Before you see it on Facebook...."

Things our parents never had to deal with: phone calls from friends that begin with "I just needed to tell you something before you saw it on Facebook".

Generally this statement prefaces some big news (engaged, married, pregnant, divorced) and generally I'm grateful for the heads up. I dont mind learning big news about long-lost friends this way, but close friends, I would rather hear from personally. In fact, I have warned friends who I expect to have big news soon, that this news should be conveyed personally. Fritha, Conan, Rosie, Frannie, PattyCake, Pickle - I'm looking at you.

I had two such "before it's on Facebook...." conversations recently: one was a dear friend who was telling me she's engaged (so excited for them!!!) and one was a friend telling me she's expecting twins. (TWINS!!!) And this is very exciting news.

It's just such a sign of the times that these conversations take place. We are all so addicted to the internet (by "we" I mean "me and hopefully y'all too, but I say we so I'm not alone in my psychosis") that it's the source of information gathering, news sharing, meeting, dating, buying, selling, learning, telling.....you get the point. And while it's often very efficient to share news on Facebook, because you can quickly reach a large number of people, there are still some of us who like the phone call.

So any of you about to share big news, make at least a few phone calls before putting it on Facebook. If you call me, I promise to respond with an appropriate amount of emotion and support. Possibly even an overload of emotion and support. I mean, you know how I do.

My life is like a bad sitcom....or something

Pickle's on maternity leave but she stopped by the office today to just visit with people and have lunch with a bunch of us. While she was here, we were catching her up on the stories from around the office. After about 12 minutes of story-telling, it became clear that 80% of the stories were about me or somehow related to me.

1. My boss hosted the office at his house for a cookout/office party this summer. He cooked, we all brought sides and desserts and drinks to share. Well, apparently I didn't so such a good job at "sharing" my drinks...but I did great at "drinking" my drinks. So after a few hours of the cookout, I was wandering through my boss's backyard when I accidentally stumbled into the side of his house. With a thud. (at which point I interjected that I ran into a chair AND a concrete column in the office yesterday, to illustrate that I'm clumsy in general, regardless of consumption).
The other key factor to mention here is that while wandering through the backyard...and into the wall...I was holding a newborn child. One of my co-workers had brought his wife and child to the party and they let me hold the child. I guess when you have a 4-month-old baby you are willing to let anybody hold him so you regain free use of your arms, but I'd like to suggest that parents use a little more discretion than that and refrain from handing your baby over to the drunk girl. My current theory is that because the parents in this situation are teetotalers, maybe they didnt recognize the situation for what it was. Because I'm pretty sure it's a widely understood policy that you DO NOT let the drunk girl hold your baby!

2. I am a regular contributor to my office's blog. Our blog is separate from our corporate website, but still kinda official. We try to write stuff that's entertaining, insightful, cheeky and mostly random. Last week, I wrote a post about Halloween, going over some dos and don'ts for costuming this year. The original title of the post was "Are you wearing a douchebag costume?" (or something like that). I posted it one day last week, then on Tuesday of this week (5 days later) I got an email from the director of our office letting me know I needed to change the title.
Apparently someone had started an auto-feed from our office's blog onto our corporate site (run by our corporate office in NY) and "Are you wearing a douchebag costume?" had popped up on the main page. Whoops. Someone saw it and freaked and it got back to one of the big corporate directors, who called the director of my office and (laughingly) said "um....y'all need to change that....we need to keep it clean."
I apologized, changed it and then talked with the other editors of the blog about other questionable content. Like the painted butt pumpkin picture, "WTF" tag and ass-related comments.
But what's really funny about all this is that of ALL THE PEOPLE to get called out for "inappropriate blogging" that it was me! I am NOT the potty mouth of the group. In fact, "douchebag" might be the worst word I say. So, of course, as word spread through the office, people found this hilarious. And started calling me "Douchebag". And it stuck.

Add that to the stories that weren't told (like my bathroom counter that caught on fire, my Halloween hair, my couch-surfing, etc.) and I began to realize that my life is pretty much just a long drawn-out series of embarassing (yet hilarious) stories.

Oh well. At least I entertain myself.

In a nutshell....

I'm weird. At best, I'm "quirky and charming". At worst, I'm "freaking odd". Mostly I'm somewhere in between.

This is me, in a nutshell:
Music: In the last year I've been to two concerts. Both were arena shows where I had free suite tickets. One show was Motley Crue, the other was Beyonce.

Beverages: I went to dinner last weekend with some clients and other "vendors"/associates of my clients. I ordered a specialty cocktail called "Tickled Pink" that was champagne with a little pink liquer in it. I tried to order a second, but the restaurant was out of the pink liquer, so I ordered a stein of dark beer that required two hands to lift and drink. I have a pink flask.

Clothing: I wear my designer jeans with my pit-stained sorority t-shirts from college. I own at least six sequined sweaters as well as pants that have been hemmed with duct tape. I shop at Nordstrom and Target.

Home decor: I have a goat puppet hanging from a lamp and a framed map of Cusco, Peru decorating my living room. A room which is furnished in mostly hand-me-down furniture (thanks Pickle, Fritha and Pie!) and Pottery Barn.

Hobbies: Because they're my client, I started playing D&D. It's pretty fun; I use hot pink dice. I also watch reality TV. And football. I have season tickets to UW games and just joined a fantasy football league. Currently, I'm watching Green Bay vs. Chicago and flipping to an ABC Family Original movie (My Fake Fiance) on the commercials.

Movies: I love Pulp Fiction and Steel Magnolias. I quote Old School as easily as I quote The Sound of Music.


Yeah.....

Rilla #12

So, I'm cat-sitting for Rosie and Sigma this week.

Their cat Doyle just hasn't been the same since his "domestic life partner", Skunky, passed away in December. Rosie and Sigma are nervous for him and really hate to leave him alone overnight. So they asked me to stay at their house so that Doyle wasn't alone.

I moved in a couple of days ago and have been having a lovely time at Rosie & Sigma's. I've eaten their food, used their washing machine and consumed their liquor. All with their blessing.

It's been really hot this week and Monday night I went over to Pie's house to watch The Bachelorette with Pie and Fritha and Pickle (per our usual) and when I got home, the house was warm. I opened windows to get some breeze going on in the house, but it took a while to have an effect.

In order to cope, I wound up lying on the living room floor, wearing shorts and only a bra, waiting for it to cool off. It was too hot for a t-shirt....too hot for sitting on the couch...too hot for anything but lying on the floor, shirtless. At one point, I thought an icy cold beverage would help, but decided that getting up to get said beverage would be a lot of effort. So there on the floor I laid and there on the floor I stayed.

Even though I was at Rosie & Sigma's and not at my house, the point remains the same: those of us who live alone can lie shirtless on the floor without worrying about someone tripping over us, stepping on us or whining that we're in the way. Nor do we have to feel bad about lying on the floor shirtless when clearly there is laundry or housecleaning that could be done.

I love living alone! At my house or yours....

RILLA #27

Reasons I Love Living Alone #27

When Pickle gets knocked up and has to replace furniture with baby furniture I can offer my home as a "safe place" for her buffet table to come live.

And unlike previous living situations, when I find a piece of furniture I want in my life, I don't have to listen to someone say "I just don't like it" and insist that I un-assemble the piece I had just assembled and store it under my bed.

STILL Can't. Focus.

But can breathe. My sinus infection thing is mostly gone, just a bit of a lingering cough. The lack of focus has more to do with my (self-diagnosed) ADD than a stuffy nose or associated medicines.

As usual, my illness struck at the most inopportune time: busy week at work and out-of-town guest. So I had to drug up and power through. Which I did and now I'm fine. Yay.

Despite my stuffy nose and cold meds, Maid Marian and I had a lovely visit. She got in on a Wednesday night and spent the next couple of days exploring the city, hitting the Market, the flagship Nordstrom, other lovely city spots. We ate at such fabulous places as Collins Pub and Pesos, visited the Space Needle (at sunset, ftw!) and loitered about.

Maid Marian got to meet Pie and Fritha and Conan and partake of Conan's delicious kabobs. She also got to meet The Tad, FrankieWayne, PattyCake, Pickle and others (about whom she had heard many stories).

This was all fun, but probably the highlight of the trip was the lovely hike we took...by accident.

Seattle has ferryboats. Ferryboats are cool. We thought it'd be fun to ride one. So we looked up the ferry schedule and prices and figured out where the ferry terminals were and decided that we'd take the ferry to Vashon Island. I'd heard it was fun.

So we purchase passenger fares and walk on to the ferry. We have a lovely ride, see some great views and land on Vashon, where we start walking toward downtown. We walk (at approximately a 6% grade) for 30 minutes or so and come upon the Vashon Island Realty Office, which advertises maps and ferry schedules. We stop in to pick up maps and schedules and the guy says "You girls walkin' to town?" And we say "Yes sir." (we're good Southern girls...of course we said Yes sir).
To which he replied "You thought it was close to the ferry terminal, didn't you?"
Uh...blink blink. "We didnt really know...we're just adventurin'."
"Yeah, town's about 4 more miles from here."
Uh...blink blink.

By this point, we figure we've walked that far, we might as well keep walking. Plus, it was nice weather and we didnt have anything else we had to do. So we kept walking.

We passed 3 houses, a retirement center, a cat store (where you could buy cats, not stuff for cats), lots of trees, some fields and a couple of horses. We're pretty sure the horses were laughing at us. Much like the drivers of the cars who kept passing us.

Something like 55 minutes passes and we walk upon an Episcopal Church that is also a bus stop. I remember someone (JazzHands I think) telling me that town was "a little ways" from the ferry terminal and thinking I should have asked "Whatchu mean 'a little ways'?"

By this point, we are hot, thirsty, in need of "facilities" and just plain over it. We hop the bus back to the ferry terminal and realize that there's this dumpy looking Mexican resturant on the water, so we head in to wait for the ferry. We found a nice little table on the deck, ordered (delicious) nachos and margaritas and spent the next couple of hours reminiscing about our accidental hike.

I really should send her this as a reminder of our outing.

Can't. Focus. Or Breathe.

It's official.

Despite my best efforts at...what's the word...avoiding? preventing? staving off? this disease, I do, in fact, have a sinus infection. As diagnosed by me.

My symptoms: headache, sore face, stuffy nose (but no dripping).
Additional side effects: lack of...what...oh...yeah...focus, temporary heavy mouth-breathing, inability to participate in conversations, lack of focus, perma-thirst (likely due to aforementioned mouth-breathing) and AWESOME husky, nasal voice.

My Tylenol Sinus wore off exactly 8 minutes ago and my head is sorta throbbing/sorta spinning.

(...long pause while I stare at the Chick-Fil-A cow who sits above my monitor and then do a little more work on this half-page document I've been trying to finish since about noon....)

I have to sit on a series of conference calls tomorrow, where my client and I talk to reporters. Given my temporary status as an HMB (heavy mouth-breather), I'm going to have to be EXTRA aware of my telephone headset, so as not to creep out the reporters.

(I finally finish the half-page thing for tomorrow's meetings and send it off. Then I pick up the phone and call Gordy [who sits literally 15 feet from me] to ask, "Hey, did we find out if the Billy guy in Texas put that thing we had in the kits...before he sent them?" Seriously, that's a direct quote. When I heard "uhhhh" on the other end of the phone, I realized that maybe my question was not so clear and tried again, with "I mean, the poster/flyer thing...that you made for us to put in the kits that got sent out. You know, the marketing kits...or game kits." Admittedly, not much better, but functional, as it led Gordy to confirm that Billy did put the things in the kits.)

Time for more Tylenol Sinus, this time, with orange juice.

Bus home, then long walk with Pickle, for some good fresh air. Tylenol Sinus wears off again as soon as I get home. Except that now, it's almost bedtime, so I dont want to take more daytime medicine, but I'm not quite ready for bed, so I dont want to take nighttime medicine, which leaves me in a state of really vicious mouth-breathing. Deciding that I'm not going to win the "daytime medicine vs. nighttime medicine debate" at this point, I eat some leftover quiche and ramen for dinner, brew a big cup of hot tea and sit down to watch Mean Girls.

At which point, I remember that I have some "cold remedy nasal gel" in my medicine cabinet. Now while I've been diagnosed with a sinus infection, rather than a common cold, I decide that stuffy nose is stuffy nose and I'm gonna give it a whirl. So I remove the wrapper and read the instructions. I shove the thingy up my nostrils (one at a time) and squirt. Then pinch my nostrils for 5 seconds, to spread the gel around.

Due to the drying effect of the drugs and the drying effect of mouth-breathing, I've consumed more beverages than usual today. To give you an idea, here's the list (in chronological order):

• Large mug of coffee
• Big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Can of Diet Coke
• Refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Another refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
• Another can of Diet Coke
  
• Little bottle of orange juice
• Yet another refill of big (32 oz) Nalgene bottle of water
  
• Big glass of water
• Refill of big glass of water
• Big mug of hot tea

And if tonight is anything like last night, I'll have another big mug of hot tea and another big glass of water.

I have a giant mug that mom bought me at Marshall's (for like $2) and I LOVE it. It's the mug from which I've been drinking the multiple mugs of hot tea. It makes being sick more fun. Kinda like Fritha's heart-shaped juice cup.

Ah...the ramblings of a sinus-infected mind. Seriously...can't focus. Or breathe. And now I have a weird nostril good situation. So far, not impressed with the "cold remedy nasal gel".

Things I Hate

Some people hate things like global injustice, racial genocide, oppression, the lack of availability of chicken.... I hate other (admittedly dumb) things.

I hate it when people use the word "beat" to describe their state of exhaustion. Every once in a while, this claim is tolerable, but when this word becomes the default for describing your tiredness, I hate it.

I hate when people say "For more information, you can talk to Pickle or I".... YOU CAN TALK TO PICKLE OR ME!!!! It's me, people. When you are including yourself as the object of a verb, it is always me.

I hate when people in South Carolina wear shearling-lined boots with mini skirts and tank tops. Pick a season, people. If it's cold, cover up. If it's warm, wear sandals. Flo Rida said it: boots with the fur go with Apple Bottom Jeans. NOT mini skirts.

I hate jean shorts on men. Also, jean suits and muscle shirts.

I hate when women with long hair go running with their hair down. It's not natural...you're running and your hair's all swinging around, getting in your face, getting sweaty and sticking to your neck and getting all tangled up. Ponytail, for the love!

That's all...for now.

Adventures in Babysitting, Part 2

When I was a kid, if I would complain about, say, a scraped knee, my dad would check it out, apply proper treatment and then send me on my way. Later, when I (invariably) whined about it still hurting, dad would pinch my arm and then ask if my knee still hurt.

Note: I only fell for this a few times before I quit whining to dad.

While slightly sadistic, dad's theory works: new pain makes you forget about existing pain.

When "playing Star Wars" with Spot and Rover, I know I got whacked a few times with the "light sabres" but didn't really pay attention to any of the hits except the blow to the face. It hurt real bad.

It's now, three days later, that I realize I also took a pretty significant blow to the knee and wrist. I recall being hit multiple times in multiple spots, but according to the bright purple bruises on my knee and wrist, those were big hits.

I made sure to show Pickle (who is expecting a boy) my injuries, to let her know what to expect. Or at least, what her nanny can expect.

Pickled Easter

For the second year in a row, Pickle's parents have invited me over to spend Easter with their family. And for the second year in a row, it was awesome. Church was good, food was delicious, Pickle's parents even had tulips and chocolate for me as an Easter gift. Yay!

This year, Sassy joined us and Griffith and Cukie were there, as well, and much discussion was had around their pending nuptials. And it became more and more clear that Cukie has never had friends get married. Bless her heart, she's just a little clueless about wedding traditions and fun. Her mom is throwing her a shower (which is inappropriate) and she has refused invitations from the groom's family and friends for various showers and celebrations. But Easter was fun, as she and Griffith talked about their plans and opened a few early-arriving gifts.

Between lunch and dessert, Pickle's mom brought out a box of table talk cards and we began playing random conversation games and learned that my dream car would include a driver and that Pickle's husband has a new favorite (crude noise) iPhone app. At some point, show tunes and movie quotes broke out and I KNEW that I was in the presence of a good family when we all started quoting Steel Magnolias. (This is why Pickle and I are friends).

On the way home, Pickle and Sassy and I discussed her concerns about her new sister-in-law-to-be and why she's having a hard time embracing it. So we discuss the details, including the awful bridesmaid dresses, the awkward comments that have been made and the way Griffith has been acting different since meeting Cukie. Pickle is learning to accept it, if by no other way than discussing her concerns with girlfriends. A little catty, maybe...but it's what we do.

All in all, Easter was lovely. A little cold and rainy (definitely no floral dress and sandals) but lovely.

Questionnaire Thingy

Ok, this is a silly little thing I poached from another blog. But it's pretty fun.

***************FOODOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch. On salad, on French fries, on chicken fingers, sometimes on pizza…you get the picture.
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Oh so many. Peso’s, Serafina, The Met
3. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Turkey sandwich…in fact, I think I’ve done this
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice? Mushrooms take the #1 spot, but basically, I like my pizza like I like my men: LOADED!
5. What do you like to put on your toast? Bacon
***************TECHNOLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house? 2. I’m not the original owner of either of them.
2. What colour cell phone do you have? shiny lime-ish green
*****************BIOLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right handed. I tried to train myself to be more left-handed once…it was kinda fun!
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth, splinters, stray eyebrows
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted? Printers. Lots and lots of printers.
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious or fainted? Fainted once. Been close to it several times. I have this condition….
************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes and no
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Heck yeah! I once attempted to eat a spoonful of ground cinnamon for $50. (in case you’re wondering, I couldn’t do it and ended up sneezing up cinnamon for the next 3 days)
************DUMBOLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Not enough!!
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Define run-in? Actually, I don’t remember the last time I even saw a cop, much less had an encounter or a “run-in”
3. Last person you hugged? Fritha?
**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
1. Season? Football
2. Holiday? Christmas
3. Day of the week? Friday
4. Month? September
***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone? Yes
2. Mood? Happy
3. What are you listening to? the TV
4. Watching? Ugly Betty
5. Worrying about? my credit card bill
***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning? the bathroom
2. What’s the last movie you saw? He’s Just Not That Into You...with Pickle and Pie and friends
3. Do you smile often? Actually, yeah
********************QUESTIONS******************
1. Do you always answer your phone? Nope
2. You love…? poofy skirts, warm chocolate chip cookies, the beach and pink champagne
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be? Terminator Blue. Don't freak out, Wafer!
4. What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic? Cherry…mmmm
5. Do you own a digital camera? Yes. Two actually. I think both of them have dead batteries right now.
6. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night
7. What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Fritha and Conan made my wish list come true: they gave me a pink flask and a Big Fat Llama
8. Can you do push ups? Yes. I’m better at the “girl” kind
9. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Both
10. Ever been in a car wreck? Yep. I am now the proud owner of some guard rail on I-95 as a result.
11. Do you have an accent? Yes ma’am.
12. What is the last song to make you cry? Dunno, but it was probably country music.
13. Plans tonight? Update my blog
14. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Not yet
15. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: phad thai, chicken cashew nut and chopsticks? (all I bought yesterday was lunch)
16. Name 3 things from the bailout: is this like a quiz?
17. Have you ever been given roses? Yes. Some of them were even Killarney roses
18. Current hate right now? Scarlet Johannsen. She’s #1 on my list of celebrities I want to fight.
19. Met someone who changed your life? Yes
20. How did you bring in the New Year? At a wedding! With Rocky & Bullwinkle and Rosie & Sigma and a DJ who had ZERO Michael Jackson music
21. Name three people who might complete this? Meh.
22. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Eating a cupcake! Thanks Frannie!
23. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Crap! I have an 8am conference call!

Old, Older, Oldest

Last week was my birthday. I turned another year older.

I loved my birthday this year. It was on Friday the 13th (which is awesome) and I got to go to work! (I love going to work on my birthday...everyone has to be nice to me!)

PattyCake wrangled a fun crew (Pickle and G-Funk and Shanks) for a birthday lunch, because she said "no one should have to eat Lean Cuisine on her birthday." We headed to Collins Pub, where my steak sandwich was fantastic, both glasses of wine were delicious and the waitress brought us a birthday dessert.

Back at the office, my Big Purple Cup was returned to me, I was toasted at our "staff meeting" and after a couple glasses of wine, PattyCake and I headed out. We got on a bus to go to my birthday party, missed our stop but managed to find our way home from wherever we got off the bus.

After changing into a Sparkly Sweater Dress, I headed to the Nabob, where Rosie, Frannie, Bullwinkle, Fritha, Conan and Pie were all waiting with gifts. I got a tape measure, a flask, a Big Fat Llama and cupcakes. Yay!

Over the course of the evening, we had a great time just mingling with each other and the other fantastic friends who joined us: Jazz Hands, Sigma, Traskinator, FrankieWayne, Pickle and Skater among others.

And since we're not spring chickens anymore, we headed home around 11:30pm and got a good night's sleep.

2009 birthday cupcake count: 9 (major improvement over 2008)

All in all, an EXCELLENT birthday.

Facebook User is writing terrible status updates.

I love the internet. I really really do. And specifically, I love Facebook. It helps me keep tabs on people who live far away, it gives me access to great little games (like Tiny Adventures) and interesting conversation starters on a regular basis.

However. There are certain things about Facebook that really tick me off. Correction. There are certain things that Facebook users do that really tick me off.

Status updates: don't post lame ones. On Sunday nights, we are ALL sitting around "wishing the weekend weren't over" and "don't want to go to work tomorrow" and probably "thinking this week's going to be busy". Please be more original than that. And even though the point of the status update is to keep us all updated on your status, please don't point out the obvious. Your status should not say "is at work" or "is tired" or (this one's the worst) just plain "is".

I understand, it's a lot of work to consistently come up with clever and witty status updates. But don't feel you have to be clever all the time! You could be meaningful, intriguing, artful, nostalgic, referential or shocking. Mrs. Lucci frequently uses quotes for status updates and it's nice. A lot of people could learn from her.

But I can forgive a lame status update if it's a complete sentence. The format of the status update is to start a sentence with your name (the subject) and then include a verb and direct object or adverb or prepositional phrase as needed (the predicate). An example of this would be: "Fritha wonders why wine always tastes so good" or "The Pickle thinks DVR is the world's best invention" or "Charlie knows how to write complete sentences."

Now, that should clear things up. I really don't want to read any more status updates like, "Willseph Go Huskies" or "Armstrong Time to run a mid-afternoon errand" or "Nick Burns Burns family crest is a barracuda".

Seriously people. Don't make me start a new blog feature calling out status update offenders. Something like first offense gets you posted, second offense gets you posted and mocked, third offense gets you posted with your real name. And mocked.

We've actually got a nice little Saturday planned...

I woke up early in anticipation of joining Pickle and her friend for a major event at the big Goodwill. Known as the Glitter sale, it promised to be exciting and full of good deals. The sale started at 9am; when we arrived at 9:40am, there was a line from the warehouse, through the store, out the doors and down the sidewalk, the length of the city-block-sized building. So we get in line.

We wait in line about 45 minutes, then enter into a vortex that takes us directly to the center of all things suck. The little room where the sale is being held is packed with people and really hot. The stuff was picked over and piled up and you had to take a number to even get allowed to look at the jewelry. I have been known to do some shopping damage in my day, but I was way out of my league here. These women were SERIOUS. They had worn bathing suits to the sale so they could try things on without having to take clothes off. They had paired off and were yelling back and forth and throwing clothes to one another. They had baskets and highly-honed crowd-weaving skills. I was a little scared.

After approximately 7 hair-raising minutes, I found Pickle and Wafer and we bolted. After checking out the housewares section and holiday offerings, we cleared out to wide open spaces and fresh air. We met back up with some other girls and hit the road. We decided we needed some comfort food after our harrowing experience, so we headed to the 5 Point Diner for greasy goodness.

And oh, was it good. I mean, the place is a total dive and it's AWESOME. I ordered chicken fried steak (which I wasnt sure I could find in Seattle) and it was AMAZING. And huge. And I ate the whole stupid thing. I'm not really sure if it was the stress of the morning, or the deliciousness of the food, but I cleaned my plate. And then I went home and fell asleep watching Florida beat the crap out of South Carolina.

When I woke up, I went to baby-sit two superfun little boys, where we played and had a good time, then I went home to bed.

I didnt make it to Bed Bath & Beyond...I dont know...I guess I just didnt have enough time.