Pickle's on maternity leave but she stopped by the office today to just visit with people and have lunch with a bunch of us. While she was here, we were catching her up on the stories from around the office. After about 12 minutes of story-telling, it became clear that 80% of the stories were about me or somehow related to me.
1. My boss hosted the office at his house for a cookout/office party this summer. He cooked, we all brought sides and desserts and drinks to share. Well, apparently I didn't so such a good job at "sharing" my drinks...but I did great at "drinking" my drinks. So after a few hours of the cookout, I was wandering through my boss's backyard when I accidentally stumbled into the side of his house. With a thud. (at which point I interjected that I ran into a chair AND a concrete column in the office yesterday, to illustrate that I'm clumsy in general, regardless of consumption).
The other key factor to mention here is that while wandering through the backyard...and into the wall...I was holding a newborn child. One of my co-workers had brought his wife and child to the party and they let me hold the child. I guess when you have a 4-month-old baby you are willing to let anybody hold him so you regain free use of your arms, but I'd like to suggest that parents use a little more discretion than that and refrain from handing your baby over to the drunk girl. My current theory is that because the parents in this situation are teetotalers, maybe they didnt recognize the situation for what it was. Because I'm pretty sure it's a widely understood policy that you DO NOT let the drunk girl hold your baby!
2. I am a regular contributor to my office's blog. Our blog is separate from our corporate website, but still kinda official. We try to write stuff that's entertaining, insightful, cheeky and mostly random. Last week, I wrote a post about Halloween, going over some dos and don'ts for costuming this year. The original title of the post was "Are you wearing a douchebag costume?" (or something like that). I posted it one day last week, then on Tuesday of this week (5 days later) I got an email from the director of our office letting me know I needed to change the title.
Apparently someone had started an auto-feed from our office's blog onto our corporate site (run by our corporate office in NY) and "Are you wearing a douchebag costume?" had popped up on the main page. Whoops. Someone saw it and freaked and it got back to one of the big corporate directors, who called the director of my office and (laughingly) said "um....y'all need to change that....we need to keep it clean."
I apologized, changed it and then talked with the other editors of the blog about other questionable content. Like the painted butt pumpkin picture, "WTF" tag and ass-related comments.
But what's really funny about all this is that of ALL THE PEOPLE to get called out for "inappropriate blogging" that it was me! I am NOT the potty mouth of the group. In fact, "douchebag" might be the worst word I say. So, of course, as word spread through the office, people found this hilarious. And started calling me "Douchebag". And it stuck.
Add that to the stories that weren't told (like my bathroom counter that caught on fire, my Halloween hair, my couch-surfing, etc.) and I began to realize that my life is pretty much just a long drawn-out series of embarassing (yet hilarious) stories.
Oh well. At least I entertain myself.
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