Moobs

You know that part in Mean Girls where Janis and Cady and Damian plot their revenge on Regina George? And they layout the three sources of Regina's power? Yeah, it's awesome.

Similar laws are at hand in Queenie's dating life. Coleslaw, her former...uh...associate was found to be fantastic due to his:
High Status arm candy (Queenie)
Technically good physique (Hot Body)
Loyal band of ignorant followers (Army of Skanks)

Well, we know that he and Queenie are no longer associated. By all accounts (ok, according to Facebook), his "ignorant followers" have dwindled, but he is nevertheless surrounded by an "army of skanks", most of whom are barely old enough to buy alcohol and many of whom have fake...stuff, ranging from hair to nails to fibers to....well, whatever.

But the Hot Body, is apparently deteriorating. According to recent reports by a credible source (Queenie) who conducted extensive research (on Facebook), Coleslaw has lately begun sporting moobs. Yes, the fear of men everywhere, the man-boob (moob, chesticle, etc.) has reared its ugly head under Coleslaw's pastel-colored, popped-collar Ralph Lauren polo shirt.

Bless his heart.