Just another quiet evening at home

It’s a little after 11pm and I decided that now would be a good time to close my front door.

I opened the door a couple of hours ago because it was kinda hot in my apartment (it’s warm outside and my apartment is not air-conditioned) and opening the door allows for added cross breeze of the lovely (and cooler) night air. My door opens directly onto the walkway above the parking lot in back of my apartment building, but there’s really only one neighbor who lives on that side, so I wasn’t worried about weirdos walking by or anything.

I was really glad I had the door open when I blew out all the candles, because the smoke could fly right out the door. But then, if I had opened the door earlier, it might have helped with the smell and I wouldn’t have had to light so many candles.

Let me back up a second.

I took the bus home from work (I sat up front near a strange lady and her dog and got caught up on
LOLcats on my phone) and decided to get some housework done tonight.

I checked the mail, discovered most of it was junk and proceeded to throw it away. My trash can was full, so I pulled the bag out of the can to take it out. Only something gross had happened and the bag was dripping a radioactive ooze…or some kind of weird orange drippiness that reeked to high heaven. So I tucked my nose into my tank top (which I was wearing because it’s hot) and wiped up the ewww on the floor. I got a new trash bag, put the drippy bag in it and took it out.

Back in the kitchen, I tucked my nose back into my tank top and began trying to figure out how to clean the inside of my trash can before the goo in there turned some unsuspecting reptile into a 6-foot martial arts master who wears colorful bandanas, likes to eat pizza and shares a named with a Renaisssance artist.

Since I don’t own a hose, I figured the shower was the best bet. I put the trash can in the shower, turned on the water and let it run a bit. Then I got out the can of Scrubbing Bubbles and sprayed the inside of the trash can. But there was still some stubborn crud (that I didn’t want to touch) so I got the toilet scrub brush and scrubbed it clean.

That was when I noticed that the outside of the trash can was looking a little cruddy as well. A little more Scrubbing Bubbles, scrub brush and shower water took care of that. That’s when I remembered that the tub drain was slow and I had some Liquid Plumr under the sink.

I pulled out the gray bottle, read the instructions and poured half the bottle down the drain. While waiting the requisite 15 minutes, I decided to wash some dishes, to ward off any lasting damage that might have been caused by their proximity to the nasty trash can disaster.

I then went back to the tub, chased the chemicals with hot water (as instructed) and was quite pleased with the result.

Except that now, I’m quite warm and my apartment smells like Scrubbing Bubbles, Liquid Plumr and remnants of trash can ewww. After turning on the fan, opening the windows and lighting a slew of candles, it’s not getting better. So I open the door to facilitate added circulation.

A couple of hours later, my apartment has cooled off and it no longer has an aroma that would paralyze rats. And since it’s getting late, I decided to close my door.